Royal Proclamation
7:27 AM Central
20 October 2016
Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
By the authority of His Majesty
By the authority of His Majesty
The Reverend Venerable Sir Doctor
Thomas James Mariaño Percival Franich
KING of SENSIBLE CASTLE
Ambassador, Anax & Anassa, Antonomasia, Archon of the Theatre & Theater, Avatara Rinpoche, ben-adam,
Coco, Chancellor of Pocket-Change Charity, Concubine of the Muses, deDesposyni, Defender of the Faiths, Divi Filius,
General of Hardware, the Grand Brother, Grandmaster of Hierophants, Imperator of Peace, Ion Chromatographer,
Keeper of Nanocrystal Secrets, Keeper of the Grounds, Laird of Songs, Lord of W. Mifflin Manor, Lord of Westerfeld Mifflin Manor,
Lover of Poetry, Magister, Narayana, Pontificate of Pizza, the Postprandial, Preprandial, & Prandial Ithyphallic,
the Greatest of Gatsbys, the Once but not Future King
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THE
STIPULATIONS
Whereas the course of human events sometimes makes it necessary for one people to dissolve political bands and to set free the tethers which are not imposed by the Laws of Nature or by Nature’s God; &
Whereas those rights of the people to choose courses independently of
destiny are enshrined in the Temple of Democracy and Her Steward Republic, and are omnipresent, inalienable, undeniable, inherent, inherited, inseverable, and adamantine; &
Whereas the rule by a single autocrat, contumacious in his absolute power
and unanswering to those souls from whence his power derives, has always in human history resulted in a net loss of ecstasy, the demise of agape, and the worship of power, as edified in the axiom, “absolute power corrupts absolutely;” &
Whereas eudaimonism is the highest calling in life but philosopher-kingship
is practically a sinecure and commonly somnambulation; &
Whereas e^(πi)+1=0 ;
THE
RESOLUTION
It is therefore proclaimed
ABDICATE
By the absolute power afforded to me, the aforementioned King of Sensible Castle,
I hereby
abnegate, abjure, & surrender the crown.
This edict is amaranthine.
